I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
