Tell her she can't have a vagina
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
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The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
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I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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