I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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