everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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