drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
