he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize