Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
