So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
