The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize