And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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