the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
