Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
