And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
