Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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