If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
