bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
