So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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