All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
