i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
