she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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