Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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