apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
