Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize