she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
