Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize