I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
