i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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