I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
