My first STD was from a foam party
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
