you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize