look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
