i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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