As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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