Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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