you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
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Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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