he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
