i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
