I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize