there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
As shirtless as possible
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
