she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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