Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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