You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
