God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
