I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
