White coat. Heels.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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