Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
