I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
