is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
