Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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