it wasn't lemon gatorade
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
