I want to make a zoo with you.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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