Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
