one two three fourrrrnication!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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