what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The beer is more important than you right now.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
