i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Damn victory sex feels great
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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