I think I am morally bankrupt
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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