DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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