When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize