Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
