Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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