I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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