Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
